Archive for the ‘Academics’ Category

And, by the Way, ‘Grammatically Correctly’ Is Needlessly Redundant

Belligerent white woman: Could you get of the way?
Black teen: I be trying!
Belligerent white woman: You should speak gramatically correctly!
Smartass: “I be trying” isn’t ungrammatical. It’s standard usage in African-American vernacular English.
Belligerent white woman: Oh, what would you know?
Smartass: I have a Ph.D. in linguistics from MIT.

–A train

At the Harvard Info Session, They Give You Unsolvable Rubik’s Cubes

Stanford admissions officer: You’ll need to submit either the act or the act as a part of your application.
Audience: (confused silence)
Audience member: You said “act” twice.
Stanford admissions officer: Sorry. Stanford will take your composite score from the act and break it down, looking at the individual components. If you choose to take the act with writing instead, we will look at your best composite score.
Kid, muttering to dad: Is this some kind of mind game?

–Morgan Stanley Headquarters, Stanford University Information Session

Overheard by: I swear I wasn’t mishearing him say

That’s Code for, “I’m Lost, Too”

Man: Excuse me, could you tell me where–
Biotech, interrupting: –Look, I don’t have time to make up fake directions.

–W Broadway

Headline by: Trey Jackson

· “And This Rudeness Is Two Seconds Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back” — Markle
· “And, Being a New Yorker, I Certainly Won’t Give You Real Ones” — Yana
· “Mapquest’s Employee Of the Month” — Claire
· “Or The Knowledge for Real Ones” — DIck
· “So Take a Left Over There” — emily bess
· “Take a Cab. Be Sure You Tell the Driver You’re from Out Of Town.” — jnr

Click here to see the new Headline Contest