Hobo: You want to know why America is the land of free? Go to jail; free food, free bed.

–53rd & Madison

Overheard by: Ramblin Bradley Scott 

Guy on cell: I’m just so sick of hearing about Gaza. So many people getting shot…it just sounds like LA.

–86th & CPW 

Girl: “AKA” means “otherwise known as.” This is America!

–23 Street C station

Hipster guy on cell: How’s Delaware?…Aw, I’m sorry…Your grandma what?…Ew!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Shawn Chesterfield 

Hobo: I wish all of America was in Jordan.

–Stuyvesant Park

Woman: …It’s not the money I’m worried about, it’s just that
Hoboken taxi drivers are shitheads.

–Office, 50th & 6th

Woman on cell: …and I mean, where the fuck am I supposed to find a hooker? This isn’t Las Vegas!

–54th & 6th

Overheard by: Eface

Tourist man: One way ticket to Hewston please.

–50th Street 1 station

Turbaned white guy: Well, obviously I’m American, but my preferred religion is Punjabi.

–Union Square

Overheard by: misha

Suit: Hawaii is so boring! There’s nothing to do but stay calm.

–52nd & Lexington

Girl: Have you been to the rest of the country? The rest of the country is not New York. They obviously don’t know anything about fashion.

–Shea Stadium