Drunk guy: I’m dun­zo like the girl Kristin from La­gu­na Beach…I’m drunk like I’m on The Re­al World.
Sober guy: Yo, don’t throw up in the el­e­va­tor, man. You should go throw up on that girl’s door that we hate.

–Pal­la­di­um Res­i­dence el­e­va­tor, East 14th Street

Over­heard by: Rachel W.