Black la­dy: I don’t eat fried food. Grease is the en­e­my. When I was preg­nant with my daugh­ter, I want­ed fried food all the time. This one day, I left work to go eat some fried fish, and I ate it. And I stayed there. And you know what hap­pened? The grease came up and the fish stayed down.

–Pre­cious Nails, 94th & 3rd

Suit #1 to suit #2: We can do what­ev­er you want to­day. I just don’t like the stuff you make me do that makes me throw up.

–AJ Maxwell’s, 48th & 6th

Over­heard by: their wait­ress