Nu-metal kid: Man, I haven’t been arrested in so long!

–St. Mark’s Place & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Barrie

Teen boy commandeering speaker: Next stop: Riker’s Island.

–Uptown 1 train

Overheard by: Victoria

Black tranny to another: Honey, that’s the worst thing you can be called up in jail!

–Christopher & Greenwich St.

Overheard by: Walking away even faster

Ghetto mom on phone: If you report it they’ll have to arrest the both of us.

–Cablevision office, Brooklyn

Middle-aged wankster: Yo, I rubbed ‘Get Money Oil’ on my apron one time, and that week I got fired from fuckin’ three jobs and I got fuckin’ arrested! Don’t fuckin’ mess with witchcraft!

–Coldstone, 6th Avenue

Overheard by: rpk

Old teacher: Teaching tenth grade isn’t so bad. By that time the rotten ones don’t bother to show up or they’re already in jail.

–E train

Overheard by: jobee

White, mid-40s nerd petting dog: You know, I think it’s really funny how a guy can pet a dog and everyone thinks he’s the nicest guy in the world, but the second he does it to a stranger on the street, they wanna lock him in jail.

–Marquet Cafe, E 12th St.

Overheard by: Grace