Home­less man: You need to pray to Je­sus every­day. Do you thank Je­sus for your food or your fam­i­ly or the news­pa­per? The dev­il is killing you through news­pa­pers and the me­dia. Are you thank­ful to Je­sus? He loves you if you talk to him every­day.
Queer: I would be thank­ful to Je­sus if you would stop shout­ing in my ear so I can lis­ten to Be­y­on­ce’s newest al­bum.

–N train

Over­heard by: Brina Guild

Head­line by: kem­padimes

Run­ners-Up:

· “Is my Sav­ior too booty­li­cious?” — Mdane­man

· “Je­su­li­cious” — Mark Schilsky

· “Je­sus loves me, this I know. A fuck­ing hobo tells me so.” — Ex­tra Char­ac­ter

· “Je­sus saves souls, not ca­reers” — Megan

· “Some mes­si­ahs are so high-main­te­nance” — N. A. Car­go


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