Homeless man: You need to pray to Jesus everyday. Do you thank Jesus for your food or your family or the newspaper? The devil is killing you through newspapers and the media. Are you thankful to Jesus? He loves you if you talk to him everyday.
Queer: I would be thankful to Jesus if you would stop shouting in my ear so I can listen to Beyonce’s newest album.

–N train

Overheard by: Brina Guild

Headline by: kempadimes

Runners-Up:

· “Is my Savior too bootylicious?” — Mdaneman

· “Jesulicious” — Mark Schilsky

· “Jesus loves me, this I know. A fucking hobo tells me so.” — Extra Character

· “Jesus saves souls, not careers” — Megan

· “Some messiahs are so high-maintenance” — N. A. Cargo


Click here to see the new Headline Contest