Scholar: Brooklyn is the Paris of New York.

–Grand Army Plaza Station, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ivel

Crazy: Fuck Brooklyn! I can pay for Brooklyn on any other day. Yes, that’s right — I’m a black man, and I am not going to Brooklyn. What do you know about that! And you, you’re a Jew. I’ll still pray for you. Wherever we end up, I’ll still pray for you. Fuck all you people. Except you, Jew. I love you.

–L train from 6th Ave to 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Nash Astor

Girl: I just don’t like living in Brooklyn. My place is, like, four whole blocks away from Dunkin’ Donuts.

–Tenacious D album signing, Virgin Megastore

Guy: Sobriety is my back, I am the camel, and Brooklyn is the straw.

–A/C/E subway platform, Lower West Side

Overheard by: Magaret

Lady: I like the brown eggs more than the white. Well, I have 12 at home in my fridge — it’s like Brooklyn in there.

–15th St & Union Square West