Large black man to tiny dog with hack­ing cough: I told you three times al­ready: Calm yo’­self!

–Cun­ning­ham Park, Queens

Over­heard by: Hel­loClairice

Woman to dog: You’re not pay­ing at­ten­tion, now are you?

–83rd & Broad­way

Woman to her two dogs: Sit down… And don’t steal any­thing.

–Pet store, Park Slope

Over­heard by: Russ Wall

Woman to dog bark­ing at passer­by: No, that’s not ap­pro­pri­ate.

–70th & Am­s­ter­dam

Man to dog: J‑Lo, come here!

–Union Square Dog Run

Over­heard by: Buns

Lit­tle boy hold­ing a Dachs­hund: Too many wee­nies! Too many wee­nies, Mis­ter Wee­nie!

–Daschund Day, Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: rpk

Tooth­less man on bike to Shih Tzu: You got­ta watch out! Have some hu­man food. Eat at a Chi­nese restau­rant. You a classy dog!

–10th & 6th

Over­heard by: Car­rieBoo