Hip­ster to friends: Are you kid­ding me?! I would­n’t fuck her with Tim’s* dick and Steve* push­ing!

–Capone’s, Wil­iams­burg

Hip­ster boy to hip­ster girl af­ter hard­hat made de­grad­ing com­ment: Why are there nev­er any gay men ogling guys? It’s not that I’m gay, but an ogle or two would­n’t hurt.

–So­ho

Hip­ster chick: Yeah, glit­ter is, like, the her­pes of arts and crafts.

–Bleeck­er & Broad­way

Over­heard by: El­la

Hip­ster hoochie: … And then we found that guy who had a rock of crack, and we smoked it to­geth­er!

–The Levy, Williams­burg

Over­heard by: The Sock

Hip­ster sell­ing doilies at stoop sale: I bought these when I was go­ing through my doily phase.

–Williams­burg

Hip­ster dude: I nev­er want to in­vite him, but he’d nev­er ac­tu­al­ly show up, so it’s cool.

–St. Mark’s Pl