Hipster: Percocet makes me feel like God… [drunken pause]… is rubbing my tummy.

–Restaurant, Front St, Brooklyn

Latina: I like to be comfortable when I pray, and I do not think God holds that against me.

–Thai restaurant, Astoria

Bag lady: God has always been good to me.

–6 train

Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard

Old grump: That’s the problem with kids today — they think they’re God.

–Canal St

Overheard by: Abby

Chick: I’ve determined God put me on this earth just so I can lose box cutters.

–L train

Subway preacher: God put me here to annoy the crap out of ya so that you hear his word, and believe you me, if I could I would be doing drugs, drinkin’, and fuckin’ right now… But I can’t… I just can’t, because this is my mission — to annoy ya and preach the word of God!

–R train