Hipster: Percocet makes me feel like God… [drunken pause]… is rubbing my tummy.
–Restaurant, Front St, Brooklyn
Latina: I like to be comfortable when I pray, and I do not think God holds that against me.
–Thai restaurant, Astoria
Bag lady: God has always been good to me.
Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard
Old grump: That’s the problem with kids today — they think they’re God.
Overheard by: Abby
Chick: I’ve determined God put me on this earth just so I can lose box cutters.
Subway preacher: God put me here to annoy the crap out of ya so that you hear his word, and believe you me, if I could I would be doing drugs, drinkin’, and fuckin’ right now… But I can’t… I just can’t, because this is my mission — to annoy ya and preach the word of God!