Rotund black woman, to no one in particular: I like a hood nigga,. I like a nigga to dick me in the butt while I’m smoking a blunt.

–West Village

Loud Jamaican man yelling to friend: When I stick my penis up your butt, there ain’t no turnin’ back! You’re gonna have hemorrhoids!

–25th & 7th

Overheard by: Becka

Dude: … And then she wouldn’t even shake my hand. I mean, I’ve had my dick in your ass, and you won’t even shake my hand? What kind of shit is that?

–F train

Tween to friends: I told him, ‘If it don’t fit in my mouth, it won’t fit in my butt.’

–Bx9 bus, Kingsbridge Terrace

Overheard by: Krisztina

Angry student: He fucked me in the ass, okay? In the ass!

–NYU