Bus driver: Next stop, McDonald’s! You know the song! Old MacDonald had a farm, and on the farm he had a metro card…

–B61 bus, Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint

Overheard by: miss mess

Bus driver: This bus will be making stops in Carlstadt, Moonachie, Little Ferry, Teterboro, Lodi, Garfield, Elmwood Park, and finally, thank God, in Paterson. Take all your belongings with you when you get off the bus, and remember, it is only a bus ride. You can do it.

–42nd & 8th

Bus driver: Okay, people, there are a few foreign words to make people move. They are ‘Excuse me, please’ — let’s all try saying that. Then, when they do move, say, ‘Thank you.’ Give it a try today… Welcome aboard the Q88 bus on this lovely Wednesday morning. I hope all the kids on this bus did their homework, or made up homework this weekend. Remember, get good grades — A’s on your report cards — and pass the Regents and you will have a very good life. If you don’t want to hear this conversation again tomorrow, catch a different bus on your way to school or work.

–Q88 bus

Overheard by: Jenn

Bus driver: Tired of the same old bus stop? Try Madison Avenue — it’s up next!

–M79 bus

Overheard by: Yorkie