Old queer: You won’t believe your eyes in Plainfield. There’s not one heterosexual in Plainfield.

–75th & Columbus

Amazed nerd teen: They did this study on women who are ovulating, and even in gay bars when they’re ovulating they get way more dick.

–S’nice Coffee Bar, 14th St & 8th Ave

Big black girl: So being gay, when a straight person says, "You can stay over with me, but I’m not inviting you to touch me…" No, girl! You *are* inviting me to touch you.

–C Train

Overheard by: Lemuel

Random guy in stall next me: It’s a cluster fuck… Out there, not here, you don’t think I’m gay, do you?

–JFK Bathroom

Guy with to few friends: I’m the most homophobic gay man ever.

–Staten Island Perkins Diner

IT manager: Do you know how long ago 1984 was? I was straight!

–915 Broadway, Manhattan

Overheard by: Sarah