Man hand­ing out free demos: You want a CD? It’s free! It’s re­al­ly good! It’s me! (passers­by ig­nore him) Fine, but when I die you can­not wear a t‑shirt with my face on it!

–Broad­way

Over­heard by: pork­chop sand­wich­es

Guy pro­mot­ing com­e­dy club: It costs less than a movie and we’ll get you drunk!

–7th & 40th

Over­heard by: Erin

Guy at stall: We’re slash­ing prices to­day! To­day’s the an­niver­sary of Lore­na Bob­bit!

–Street Fair, Wash­ing­ton Square North

Guy sell­ing per­fume: Ladies, buy one and get my num­ber free!

–34th & 7th

Over­heard by: De­nah

Man ad­ver­tis­ing standup com­e­dy event: Com­e­dy and al­co­hol for all you mis­er­able bas­tards out there!

–Broad­way

Man sell­ing tick­ets to a com­e­dy club: I hate my job! Come get drunk! Sell tick­ets! Sell tick­ets! Drinks! Drunk! Come get dru­u­u­unk!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Kate