Drunk man to cou­ple in booth: Hey, hey, are you two sib­lings or are you dat­ing?
Woman: We’re sib­lings.
Drunk man: Are you sure? Be­cause some­times when I’m with my sis­ter I tell peo­ple we’re dat­ing.
Man: Yeah, we’re sure.
Drunk man: Okay, well, I’m go­ing to Cen­tral City. How long do you think it would take to get there?
Man: Penn­syl­va­nia?
Drunk man: Yeah.
Man: By train or walk­ing?
Drunk man: I’m gonna walk, moth­er­fuck­er!
Man: At least a cou­ple of hours. I think you’re go­ing to need a few more drinks.
Drunk man: Yeah man! (to woman) You look like you could be in Pi­rates.
Woman: Yeah, I get that a lot.

–Tick Tock Din­er, 34th St