Drunk mid­dle aged la­dy: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute cou­ple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He’s not my boyfriend. I’m just sleep­ing with him.
Drunk mid­dle aged la­dy (laugh­ing): Re­al­ly? Good for you, he’s cute. Well, maybe it’ll turn in­to some­thing more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He’s an asshole…but he’s amaz­ing in bed and he’s fun com­pa­ny… He’s like a vi­bra­tor that makes ap­pe­tiz­ers.

–White Horse Tav­ern

Over­heard by: the birth­day girl