Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He’s not my boyfriend. I’m just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he’s cute. Well, maybe it’ll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He’s an asshole…but he’s amazing in bed and he’s fun company… He’s like a vibrator that makes appetizers.
–White Horse Tavern
Overheard by: the birthday girl