50-something man to friends: Tequila… I don't drink tequila! Last time I drank tequila, I ended up in a gun fight. And I didn't have a gun.

–Bar, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Not Drinking Tequila

Suit to another: Did I tell you the machine-gun story? Last night, while I was at work…

–Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: Gemalina McFly

Man to another: I am glad you came with me so you can be a witness when they try to shoot me.

–Union Square Park

Police officer to another: Is the guy in the coonskin hat authorized to carry a musket on the subway?

–67th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: hngryDavy

Eight-year-old boy, pointing at mannequin: Die, fashion lady! Bang! Bang! Bang!

–Kohl's, Queens

Overheard by: Stako