Dude: So he was like "you're terrible, all you do is drink. You drink all day." All day you drink? Me? I just smoke crack once a day and I'm done.

–30th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: gman

20-something white hipster rolling up onto sidewalk with pizza delivery bike: Yeah man, I got a job 'cuz if I'm working I can't get wasted all day, and that's better for my motivation.

–Bedford & N 9th, Williamsburg

PA: Can the person who left liquor and a cane on the San Juan flight please report back to the gate?

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: sbbEZas123

Art school girl to friend in the street: I like to get drunk and draw.

–Pratt Institute