La­dy suit: What are you gonna do about it? What are you go­ing to do about the post-mod­ernism on my fore­head?

–Star­bucks, The Vil­liage

Girl on cell: No, no… I don’t think you un­der­stand — my hips are two dif­fer­ent sizes! You don’t know what this is go­ing to do to my self-es­teem.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: i should have gone to har­vard

Chick on cell: … Yes, it’s com­ing out of my ab­domen…

–Wash­ing­ton Square South

Over­heard by: Tyler

Wifey to hub­by, look­ing at stat­ue: They got the knees just right! You know how I’ve been look­ing at my knees a lot?

–The Met

Over­heard by: sweetchuck

Skin­ny tween bori­qua: Yo, I’m gonna take all the fat from my stom­ach and put it on my ass.

–231st & Broad­way

Over­heard by: KK

Hot chick: Well, you don’t have arm tes­ti­cles.

–East Hous­ton St, near BH­SEC

MTA la­dy to an­oth­er: She got a lot o’ heart for a pussy!

–4/5/6 train un­der­pass, 59th St