Chick: Last night’s blind date was so bor­ing.
Guy: Oh, yeah?
Chick: I was so bored I got drunk, but my hair caught on fire from the can­dle on the ta­ble.
Guy: Oh my god!
Chick: I did­n’t know my hair was ablaze when he threw wa­ter on me, and I was like, ‘What the fuck are you do­ing?!’

–D train