Man in near­ly emp­ty train: There’s an un­claimed bag back there on a seat.
Con­duc­tor: Huh?
Man: There’s a bag back there that no one is claim­ing, and I thought you should know.
Con­duc­tor: No… I think it must be­long to some­body.

–Harlem line, Metro-North

Over­heard by: get­ting off the next stop