Seated proselytizer: Jesus walked through walls without using the door, and when Jesus touches you, he is inside you and you become like Jesus. So, if you do something to me, I don’t need the police. I can just come to your house, because I can get in without keys.

–1 train

Overheard by: thaler

Mexican preacher: Statistics show one in one person will die.

–Times Square

Overheard by: soccerking3t

Religious nut: You have to accept God! His holy grace! His saving grace! He’s got all kinds of grace!

–Grand Central

Bible-thumper: There’s no way if you wrap citric acid, cola, and carbonation in aluminum foil and stick in in the fridge for a million years it’s ever going to evolve into a Coke!

–Tompkins Square Park

Preacher: The best thing you can have on your resume when you die is not that you went to Harvard, not that you have a Ph.D., but that you have eternal life.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: God requires a resume?