Woman: So, I left her this re­al­ly erot­ic mes­sage right be­fore her ho­tel room burnt down. I think that’s why we did­n’t get the apart­ment.

–2 train

30-ish la­dy to friend: That boy lights him­self on fire every time he’s weld­ing some­thing. I think he likes it. He’s some kind of weird py­ro.

–17th & 5th, Park Slope

British chick on cell: He what? He keeps set­ting him­self on fire?

–Ur­ban Out­fit­ters, 10th & 2nd

Over­heard by: Sala­mi

Queer on cell: So, Todd said, ‘Do you smell smoke?’ It was the gay mafia! They were try­ing to burn down the bar.

–14th & Ave B

Tip­sy 20-some­thing: Well, at least you did­n’t get set on fire. That’s the im­por­tant thing.

–1 train, 72nd St sta­tion

Over­heard by: Pitr