Frumpy drunk lady to NYU kids: When we were cavemen we were more telepathic.

–Essex Ale House

Overheard by: jen

Ghetto chick arguing with coworker: … And I won’t be dealing with you for the simple fact that I don’t like your aura!

–Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital

Overheard by: tricia

Conductor to bewildered passenger who missed his stop: So, you remember when I was sayin’ that if you aren’t in the first five cars the doors wouldn’t open at South Ferry? Well, you weren’t in the first five cars, and the doors didn’t open at South Ferry. I’m fuckin’ psychic like that.

–1 train platform, Rector St

Overheard by: Scott

Girl on date: So it’s really bad, ’cause I’ve got this thinking problem. It’s like, I can’t ever concentrate because I’m just always thinking! … So, let me tell you why numerology cards work best for Scorpios.

–122nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: HuntingSnark

Big black guy on cell: Hope you meditate yourself into a coma!

–Lawrence St