White teen girl, about statue of Alexander Hamilton: Look at him! I mean, he’s such a dreamboat… That’s why he’s my favorite federalist.
Mom: And what did your class call him?
White teen girl: Hammy! And he was big pals with B‑Frank, and Johnny Ads, and G‑Dubya, and J‑Marsh, and… And… And I can’t remember any more founding fathers, but of course they all had their own gangsta names, too. They were big pimpin’ over there in Independence Hall. The only things they were missing were the hos… And that’s why Abby A. wanted them to remember the ladies.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: That other girl