Preppy chick: She’s lucky that she’s so beautiful that she can have a name like ‘Agnes.’

–12th & Park Ave South

Overheard by: fey

Hipster chick: Hey! I didn’t know it was you — you look so pretty!

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: triphere

Man, to no one: The federal government is after the woman. You know why? Because she breeds, dammit! But she’s gonna get old, and I’m not paying child support! If a woman is so beautiful, then why can’t she use the toilet?

–4 train

Woman on cell: That ho said my baby girl was beautiful! I said, ‘I know she beautiful — I made that bitch!’

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Robbie

Mom to four-year-old daughter: I do not need you telling me I’m not beautiful on the inside!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Kates