Clerk: Man, people stink. That’s why I’m saying, ‘You want a friend, get a dog. Name it Chico. Only thing Chico won’t do for you is open his own can of dog food.’
Black guy to friend: Man, what you gotta do is you gotta go down to the dog track and get it poppin’ with those extreme titties!
–Bar, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Happy hobo: I’m in Manhattan! I’m walkin’ down Prince Street! Hey, now I’m crossin’ Sullivan! Uh-oh, time to make a sound like a dog — woof! Woof! Woof!
White girl on cell: DMX got in trouble for fighting dogs too? No, of course I didn’t know that. Where the fuck would you get the idea that I know what DMX does with his spare time?
–114th & Broadway
JAP: I never told her the dog licked her vibrator.
–Coffee shop, Union Square
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