Blonde: So, I woke up and Jessica’s underwear was still on my head…

–P.S. 1, Queens

Drunk dude on cell: I want to take the blue panties you left at my place and wear them on my face! … I said I want to wear your blue panties on my face!

–Grand Central

Chick on cell: I do have underwear in my purse in case I need it.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Lady to son: Well, it is never appropriate to ask a woman about her undergarments.

–20th & 8th

Hoochie: He offered me 10 dollars for my underwear, but I wouldn’t do it.

–St. Mark’s & 1st

Overheard by: Nina