Old man to two-year old: Man, talking to you is like fucking talking to a brick wall.

–F train

Overheard by: trieze

Old man in power wheelchair: Move, motherfuckers, unless you want some rubber up yo’ ass.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Deniz G

Old guy: In the Boy Scouts they tell you to pray and… put your testicles on ice.

–W 58th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Jon A.

Old lady: You turn around and say ‘Excuse me’ or I’ll punch your fucking face in!

–42nd St and 5th Ave

Old man: … And all these bikes keep running red lights. I just wish I had a big stick — I would shove it through their spokes!

–2nd Ave station

Old bitter woman to husband: I don’t understand sex.

–72nd & 2nd

Overheard by: imsorry