Dude with in­sane tat­toos and pierc­ings: I hope there’s some­one sit­ting in my seat.
Girl­friend with in­sane tat­toos and pierc­ings: Why?
Dude with in­sane tat­toos and pierc­ings: So I can crush his lar­ynx!

–JFK

Over­heard by: wrong row, wrong time