Guy to bud­dy: It’s not cheat­ing if it’s un­der­ground.

–Prince & Eliz­a­beth

Over­heard by: emil­ia

Man on cell: Yes, dar­ling… I miss you, too… Can’t wait to wrap my­self around you again… You are so hot… Oooh, yeah, you make me crazy… Hold on a sec, I’ve got a call com­ing in [looks at phone]… Shit! It’s my wife. Lemme call ya right back.

–Jet­Blue ter­mi­nal, JFK

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

Crazy guy to train: Does any­one know how I can con­vince my wife that I won’t cheat on her?

–F train

Over­heard by: tko

20-some­thing on cell: I gen­uine­ly think we’d be a good match, ex­cept for the whole be­ing mar­ried and cheat­ing on his wife thing.

–49th & Rock­e­feller Plaza

His­pan­ic girl: You should send him a card that says, ‘Con­grat­u­la­tions on mar­ry­ing the girl you cheat­ed on and dumped for me and then got back to­geth­er when I dumped yo’ cheatin’ ass for some­one way bet­ter.’

–6 train