Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds look-alike: Well, you tell her that I will cut Miss Daisy before I drive her.

–51st & 8th

Overheard by: Nigel

Chick to guy: I’ll give you 20 bucks and suck your dick the whole way if you give me a ride home.

–5th & 2nd

Woman to man: Well, if we’re not going to drive anywhere, we might as well drink!

–Mulberry St

Overheard by: Hazel

Lady to friend: Yeah, he traded the Camry for a Tahoe, so now the sperm and eggs can all fit into one car.

–49th & 5th

Overheard by: seann r

Messenger with hand truck: Tell them there is no fucking truck — I’m the truck!

–28th & 7th