Tourist: I don’t like this train line. On the L line they have benches so that you can kneel down and pray… And they don’t have crevices digging into your ass and shit.
Tourist girl: Let’s go to the Upper Wet Side.
–Palace Theatre, Broadway
Tourist: You haven’t been raped and stabbed ’til you’ve been raped and stabbed in New York.
Dude with huge backpack, clutching a map: Sometimes you just don’t want to see a huge ball of twine, y’know? It’s, like, 200 miles away. [Guy next to him nods head vigorously.]
–Manhattan-bound L train
Middle-aged tourist on cell: No, we gotta go to Penn Central. Trust me, I know this place — we gotta get to Penn Central.