Chick: How am I sup­posed to ex­er­cise my au­thor­i­ty when peo­ple are ask­ing me, ‘Do you want to lick it?’?!

–Chur­ras­caria Platafor­ma

Dude: I used the lit­tle bath­room in the back, and there was sauce all over the toi­let. I want­ed to lick it up.

–Di­Fara’s Pizze­ria

Teen boy: Oh my god, Bar­rett Foa! He’s so hot… I want him to lick my vagi­na! Oh, my poor, crusty vagi­na…

–Stage door of Gold­en The­atre

Over­heard by: Emo Bar­bie Ju­lia

Hip­ster boy: I will climb down on those tracks and lick that third rail. I will lick it!

–L train

Over­heard by: how many hot dogs?

Punk chick: Why are you so dis­gust­ed by lick­ing oth­er peo­ple’s eye­balls?

–17th Ave, Brook­lyn