Conductor: This is your conductor reminding you to beware of pickpockets. Keep your bags in sight, your wallets in your pocket, stay alert, and remember to kiss.
–5 express train
Overheard by: Ben Arwin
Guy to girl: I’m not going to kiss you, ’cause remember — last time we kissed was before you went to jail.
–O’Connor’s, Bergen St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Joe
Drunk guy: I didn’t kiss your boobs, I kissed your chest. There’s a difference!
–49th & 1st
Guido: I’m not prejudiced against fat chicks. I would love to fuck a fatty tonight… I just won’t kiss her.
Overheard by: Liz
Five-year-old girl: Before we leave, I’m going to kiss a boy and get married later.
Overheard by: Daveyy
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