Chick: Well, our relationship has been kind of weird. I mean, the first time I met him I thought he was dorky, then the second time I met him I thought he was hot. Hot enough to fuck, because I didn’t know about his girlfriend yet. Then the third time I met him I thought he was gay, and that was before I met his crazy girlfriend.
Girl: I am so sick of dating these losers. From now on, I won’t go out with any guy unless he has an entry in Wikipedia.
Man on cell: No, I don’t want to go with my girlfriend! I want to go with you, because I want to have fun!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H
Man on cell: … So she called me up later, and said, ‘Sorry I was such a cunt.’ That’s when I said to myself, ‘I like this girl.’
–Outside Supreme Court, 360 Adams St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl to boyfriend, arguing: … But I let you have access all my orifices!
–Orchard & Delancey
Overheard by: Rob
Five-year-old boy: I’ve got two girlfriends, but one of them is six and I’m only five, so she’s not my type.
Overheard by: Neal Mortimer