Chick: Well, our relationship has been kind of weird. I mean, the first time I met him I thought he was dorky, then the second time I met him I thought he was hot. Hot enough to fuck, because I didn’t know about his girlfriend yet. Then the third time I met him I thought he was gay, and that was before I met his crazy girlfriend.

–Soho

Girl: I am so sick of dating these losers. From now on, I won’t go out with any guy unless he has an entry in Wikipedia.

–Masa

Man on cell: No, I don’t want to go with my girlfriend! I want to go with you, because I want to have fun!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H

Man on cell: … So she called me up later, and said, ‘Sorry I was such a cunt.’ That’s when I said to myself, ‘I like this girl.’

–Outside Supreme Court, 360 Adams St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Girl to boyfriend, arguing: … But I let you have access all my orifices!

–Orchard & Delancey

Overheard by: Rob

Five-year-old boy: I’ve got two girlfriends, but one of them is six and I’m only five, so she’s not my type.

–A train

Overheard by: Neal Mortimer