Ghetto guy on cell: I been wantin’ to go to Chuck E. Cheese for mad long.
–E 8th St
Midwestern girl: I just paid a hundred and thirty bucks for a meal I could have had for twenty dollars at home. [Points at Midwestern guy #1] Fuck you, [points at Midwestern guy #2] fuck you, [points at Midwestern guy #1 again] and especially fuck you. If I wasn’t going home with a purse full of mints and toothpicks right now, I’d punch you both in the balls.
–Outside Bobby Flay’s, 46th & 2nd
Bus driver: You know, you guys, you can step up onto the back platform. You don’t need a reservation. It’s not Applebee’s.
–M60 bus to LaGuardia
Overheard by: Kevoo
Girl on cell: Why?! Why would anyone ever get something catered by Outback Steakhouse!
–W 3rd St & LaGuardia
Chick on cell: Can you eat at Dallas BBQ in a rubber shirt?
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
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