Woman: He read a book on fist­ing, and now he wants to share it with his class.

–L train

Dude: They should have made Be­owulf in­to a book — they would have made a lot more mon­ey.

–34th & 8th

Over­heard by: Lethe­aBu

Girl: It used to be the on­ly rea­son I liked An­na Quindlen was ’cause she was blind. Now it’s like, ‘Dude, she can read?!’

–Barnard Col­lege

NYU bim­bette to stu­dious friend: Your prob­lem is that you read for all your class­es. So­bri­ety and schol­ar­ly. Those are your prob­lems.

–Star­bucks, W 4th St

Over­heard by: wine girl

Nine-year-old girl: I for­got my book, and I was sup­posed to do a re­port on it! Now what am I go­ing to do?! I’m so se­nile.

–JFK

Over­heard by: mr itchie

Book-hawk­ing hobo: … And this is my new book, ‘If You Don’t Beat Your Chil­dren, They’ll End Up Like Me’!

–6 train

Over­heard by: Zarek