Drunk: If God did­n’t want us to be gay, He would­n’t have put our g‑spot all the way up our ass!

–3rd Ave. be­tween 11th & 12th

Over­heard by: Za­ck

Frat­boy: So if I tell her I wan­na put my tongue up her ass, you think she’ll re­late to me?

–1st Ave. & 10th St.

Over­heard by: Sarah T.

Fi­ancee: OK, fine. You can have strip­pers at your bach­e­lor par­ty. But if I hear you stuck your dick in some nasty hook­er’s ass, I’m nev­er suck­ing it again.

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Mad William Flint

Woman: Yeah, what­ev­er, Mr. Does­n’t-Know-What-a-Sup­pos­i­to­ry-Is!

–The An­gel­i­ca, Hous­ton Street

Goom­bah: Nah, nah, nah…I’d suck a guy’s dick balls deep, but I would nev­er eat a man’s ass. That’s just gay.