Dad: Okay, girls! Now, we’re on a very tight bud­get — you can get ketchup, mus­tard, or bar­be­cue sauce.

–Shea Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: bill R

Girl: Ap­par­ent­ly I ate an en­tire jar of mus­tard.

–Bard High School Ear­ly Col­lege

Over­heard by: and did­n’t no­tice?

Hot guy on cell: That’s fine, but I just don’t want to find the tele­vi­sion smeared with peanut but­ter this time…

–96th & CPW

White chick: La Choy is the white trash of soy sauce!

–113th St

Over­heard by: Meis­ter E.

Man to hobo: If I had any more but­ter, I would give it to you, but I don’t be­cause I used it al­ready.

–Howard St

Over­heard by: havarthe

Foxy la­dy, to fe­male din­ing com­pan­ion: I could pour ketchup in your cleav­age and dip a fry in it… Just dip it in! Why are peo­ple star­ing at us?

–Rel­ish, Williams­burg

Over­heard by: Justin Case­ment