Girl on cell: So yeah, I was like, ‘That is a great cos­tume,’ and then it set her hair on fire and I was like, ‘That’s gross.’

–CVS, 42nd & 3rd

Crazy hobo: That’s right! Ar­rest me! I’ll burn half y’all hous­es down… And set the oth­er half on fire!

–Brook­lyn-bound Q train

Over­heard by: In­ci­ta­tus

Pseu­do-in­tel­lec­tu­al: She called me and told me there was a bon­fire in her ovaries.

–Mac­Dou­gal Street Ale House

Over­heard by: La­dle

Creep­ster: Come here… You don’t wan­na know what I’m on right now. If you come home with me, I will light you on fire.

–Colum­bus Ave

Con­cerned NYU girl to boyfriend about Cal­i­for­nia wild­fires: Do you think Cher’s house burned?!

–Wa­ter St dorm, NYU

Over­heard by: michael