Loud guy: I can turn my dick in­to a Whop­per with fries!

–Mac­Dou­gal Ale House

Over­heard by: La­dle

Small In­di­an boy: Pe­nis! Pe­nis! [His moth­er scolds him in Hin­di.] … Pe­nis!

–47th & 5th

10-year-old boy to friends: … And then he drew, like, three penis­es! And then I had to get home in, like, three and a half sec­onds!

–11th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Suit to an­oth­er: Je­sus Christ! It’s not my fault your pe­nis drips!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Syd­ney

Dude to friend: Let’s think of words that rhyme with ‘dick.’

–49th & 7th

Pre-med chick: We had this ca­dav­er in lab that we called ‘Sch­lon­go’ be­cause his pe­nis was a foot long. No, se­ri­ous­ly, it was re­al­ly a foot long!

–Bod­ies Ex­hib­it

Over­heard by: a.j.w.