Woman, to friend: he was so ex­cit­ed, I thought his butt plug was go­ing to shoot out of his ass.

–Spring Street and 6th St

Over­heard by: Sarah O.

Dude in fur coat and con­struc­tion boots: My mom asked me if I had a ra­zor in my butt…

–Down­town ‘1’ Train

Hus­band to wife:
I can’t be­lieve you just put your fin­ger up my butt hole!

–Grand Cen­tral Ter­mi­nal

Over­heard by: boni­fa­cia

Trans­ves­tite pros­ti­tute: I just got off my sec­ond and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fin­gers in his booty.

–Meat-pack­ing Dis­trict

Over­heard by: Erin

Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass in­to your ass!

–Bleek­er & Bar­row

Over­heard by: ivy270

Guy on cell phone pass­ing by: nor­mal­ly when you say that, my ass­hole starts puck­er­ing!

–Union Square