Sleazy guy: I love go­ing to my den­tist, the new one. The hy­gien­ist holds my hand while they’re giv­ing me a shot. She talks to me. She pets me like a chin­chilla. It’s fan­tas­tic.

–El­e­va­tor, 360 Park Av­enue South

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

Old man with pet lizard: Thir­ty-four years ago we got mar­ried. She had den­tal cov­er­age. It’s very easy to find a girl with med­ical cov­er­age… Den­tal, not so easy.

–77th St & 37th Ave, Jack­son Heights

Over­heard by: Gail Mon­temay­or

Blonde tween: they usu­al­ly take out 2 teeth be­fore they put on the braces. They took 4 of mine. It felt great! I want­ed ’em to take all of mine and be all gums.

–D Train

Over­heard by: Go­ing to keep those wis­dom teeth a bit longer

Girl on cell: So I was able to brush my teeth with­out feel­ing like I was go­ing to puke.

–77th and 2nd

Clean­ing woman on cell phone: She is a but­ter­face. You know, every­thing’s lookin’ good but her face. Her body is nice, but she has some ug­ly-ass, skanky ass face. I told her she ain’t gonna get no man with­out any teeth in her face. I told her she’s got­ta get some nice grilles put all up in there.

–At­lantic Mall

Over­heard by: jsil­ly­fun

Ghet­to girl spout­ing knowl­edge to friend: Some­times, you just got­ta bite your teeth, and turn the oth­er head…

–4 train

Guy on acid: I can’t get the taste of teeth out of my mouth!

–River­side Park

Over­heard by: LSB