Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom