Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art deal­er, but I’m like, the least bour­geois per­son I know.

–Smith & Mills (restau­rant in Tribeca)

Over­heard by: the ler­pa

Lit­tle boy to friends: There are are four re­al­ly big, im­por­tant artists: Mon­et, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pis­ta­chio.

–Im­pres­sion­ism Room, Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art

Over­heard by: I love Pis­ta­chio’s green pe­ri­od

Young girl: These paint­ings smell nice and fresh!

–The Met

An­gry white sub­ur­ban artist to Jews for Je­sus: Stop talk­ing! You are push­ing this on me with­out me ask­ing ‑that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here ‑we are all white sub­ur­ban artists.

–Mor­gan L Stop on Bog­a­rt

Over­heard by: not a hip­ster

Gangs­ta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Pi­cas­so or some shit?

–The Met