Guy: I don’t think you’re sup­posed to like be­ing in­car­cer­at­ed.

–St. Mark’s Place

Over­heard by: mkb

Mid­dle-aged man on phone: I’m telling you, if I turn my­self in now I won’t be in court for six months.

–50th & 8th

Grungy guy to his friend: …Dude, you have no idea how many times I’ve been in this cour­t­house…

–Gi­ants Pa­rade, in Front of the Cour­t­house

Over­heard by: Ju­lian

Guy on phone: We re­al­ly got our­selves in some deep shit with this one. I hope he gets out soon­er for good be­hav­ior. We should have nev­er got­ten in­volved.

–JFK Air­port

Woman, yelling in stall: I will read you your Mi­ran­da rights, bitch! I will ar­rest you!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty Wom­en’s Bath­room

Over­heard by: un­sure if she is crazy or on the phone

Cashier on phone: No, you don’t un­der­stand, miss. That is per­jury. If I do that, I will go to jail… No, you are not lis­ten­ing to me. I would be ar­rest­ed. I would serve time…[hangs up, turns to cus­tomers.] Can I help you?

–Harlem U‑Haul