Dude, walk­ing up to se­cu­ri­ty desk in emer­gency room: Hi. It feels like my balls are about to fall off.

–St. Lukes Roo­sevelt Hos­pi­tal

Over­heard by: Kate Melvin

Ston­er chick: The girls are all hairy balls, and the pho­tos look like hairy balls, and they wear hairy ball sacks, but Tyra is the biggest hairy ball of them all.

–7 train

Over­heard by: bron­wyn

Out-of-place gui­do: I ain’t wear­ing noth­in’ that touch­es my balls to my ass­hole!

–8th Ave

Over­heard by: finds it com­fort­ing

Teenage boy to friends, about a movie: Yooo, it’s like a chick flick with balls!!! You know, like a guy’s chick flick!!!”

–E 85th St & 3rd Ave

Guy: I use Burt’s bees for my balls.

–Broad­way & W 4th

Over­heard by: Jake R

Guy #1 to guy #2: I re­al­ly think you’d feel a lot bet­ter if you felt my balls.

–6th Ave & Bleeck­er