Female conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are stopped here due to congestion ahead. We should be moving shortly. [2–3 minutes later.] Ladies and gentlemen, due to a malfunctioning signal, everyone will need to get off the train, take the 4 back up to 149 St Grand Concourse and take the 2 train downtown.
Train riders: [Groan.]Conductor: April fools! Stand clear of the closing doors.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mike T