Man: I’m, like, the MacGyver of orthoscopic surgery.

–David Copperfield’s, York Avenue

Girl: I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t gone back to school. I’d probably be dead or in jail or pregnant and living in Brooklyn or something.

–F train

Overheard by: Heather 

Goth guy on cell: You can’t divide by infinity! Infinity is a concept, not a number! How many times do I have to tell you that? 

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Lesley Brooke 

Fat lady: I was Rubenesque before I was fat. 

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: Dawn